Happy New Year beautiful friends! I woke up this morning and 2014 feels very peaceful and calm to me. This post has been sitting in draft for about 5 months now and finally today, 1st January 2014 I feel like I’m ready to hit publish.
I dedicate 2014 to Balance, Nurture and Abundance!
Learning the Lesson
Looking at Magoo’s cheeky little face, most people would never know that he isn’t the best sleeper. In fact, I’d go as far as saying that up until 6 weeks ago his sleep at night
was terrible. I didn’t really realise that it was because I never compared him to other babies. I don’t tend to tell people about the whole sleep thing because who wants to read yet another story about a sleep deprived parent! *and yet here I am talking about it!* because this post isn’t about changing him or his sleep or anything like that, it’s about how when you fall flat on your face, it’s okay to admit it and ask for help (something I’ve struggled with) and also it’s my journey as a mother about balance.
Six weeks ago Magoo started sleeping more consistently. It was a revelation, a marvel, an amazing shift to have a baby sleep 6-7 hours in a row compared to waking every 2-3 hours. My husband *McAussie* and I were relieved and ecstatic and then instead of being refreshed and revitalised from the extra sleep…………..the whole falling flat on my face thing happened. My body suddenly remembered how much it needed sleep and how it had been running on adrenalin for over 12 months and it basically shut down on me. I’ve never experienced anything quite like it. It was like getting to the finish line of a marathon and raising your arms up to celebrate but ending up unceremoniously crumpled on the ground, wrapped in a silver first aid blanket.
Doing simple things like waking up in the morning and making breakfast took all my energy. My eyeballs felt gritty and even though I was started to get more consistent sleep, I couldn’t quite shake the malaise. So, for the last 6 weeks, *McAussie*, my beautiful intuitive sister Anna and her hubby *Big Dutch* have been rallying around me, supporting me as I rest and recuperate. My adrenals had been working overtime and they needed a break understandably, no one is supposed to be able to function on such broken sleep for 12 months. My body forced me to address the lack of balance in my life…….. I’m listening now! With the help of a Chinese Medicine Herbalist/Acupuncturist, mindful eating and a SOT (Sacro Occipital Technic) Chiropractor I’m feeling better, sooooo much better.
Asking for help and getting it (the whole am I worthy of help and I feel guilty thing)
If I ask for help will I get it and what does it mean about me that I even need help? It has been confronting for me to admit that I couldn’t keep going the way I was without help. I felt guilty, especially as *McAussie* was already balancing work and helping out loads with Magoo. Why was I not able to just look after Magoo and keep the house running? The fog of sleep deprivation and added guilt was stopping me from putting things in place to help myself and actually be well! It was serving no one, least of all me, so I dropped the guilt (still a work in progress) and went easy on myself, after all no one functions well on broken sleep! Maybe the fact that I have lasted this long is a testament to how strong my body and mind actually is and I’m just thankful that I have such wonderful support around me. Not everyone has that support, so it’s not something I take for granted.
A quick edit: To all the mamas out there…….the journey of mamahood is a beautiful and also challenging one at times. Please go easy on yourself and please know that you’re enough, you are doing a wonderful job and it’s okay to say that you need a break! You are just as important as your baby.
Balance is an interesting thing because it’s different for everyone and it changes from day to day, moment to moment. *McAussie* needs to move his body lots, fuel it mindfully and get his hands dirty in order to feel balanced. Cycling, gardening, practicing yoga, playing guitar and cooking are just some of the things he gravitates towards to be in balance. I’m still figuring out what helps me be in balance but I gravitate towards; gentle exercise, nourishing food, time alone to ponder/meditate/potter and getting in touch with my creative and intuitive side. The biggest part of my journey of balance is living mindfully, being present and tuning in to what my body/mind/soul needs.
So…..to start off 2014 in a mindful way I’m doing the ’30 Day Meditation Challenge’ – can you spare 5 minutes a day?
It starts tomorrow 2nd January 2014, it’s FREE and is run by the amazing Jasmine of Simply Replenished
Click HERE to sign up.