I have been afraid…there…I said it. It’s one thing to stand in your truth, (your true power), behind closed doors with the folks you know love you unconditionally, but quite another to put yourself…not the carefully crafted persona you wear but the real you…out there (like on this blog for example).
I’ve always talked about the things I believe in and enjoy on this blog (handmade work, meeting creative folk, art, traditional chinese medicine, loving yourself and your body, food, animals etc) and shared my experiences but none of them have really been about the real me, because I was afraid….I worried that if I peeled back the curtain to expose my oz-ness (as in *wizard of* not *aussie = oz* lol) then people might run the other way. I guess, like many, I was afraid to be judged, but I’ve come to realise that it doesn’t matter what other people think of me (everyone is entitled to their opinion and I respect that) because my purpose is to be my true self and stop hiding behind Anna camouflage.
As you might have guessed from my previous post, I’ve recently shed my Anna camouflage and stopped wearing my *logic blanket of safety* and decided to embrace the intuitive, unique, creative soul that I truly am. I’ve started meditating daily (it helps me switch off the logic brain), I’ve dropped the negative self-talk (because that’s not the true me), I’ve admitted I believe in universal consciousness and surrendered to trusting what I *feel* rather than thinking my way around things, I listen to source energy when it speaks to me, even when it nudges me to do things I don’t quite know the reason for at that particular moment in time. I use crystals and oracle cards, both things I used to judge and consider *not for folk like me*, well I was wrong I find they help me connect with source.
It has taken some time for me to feel comfortable with my soul in it’s nakedness but the following snippet of wisdom pretty much sums up what I’ve come to believe about enlightenment…that it isn’t a state you achieve through years of meditating and sitting under a tree in the wilderness, it’s just this:
Realizing that what you are, have always been, and in fact cannot help but be is pure Consciousness. That you are not the “self-image” you have of yourself, nor your thoughts or even your body. Rather, your original nature, your unconditioned essence, is timeless Awareness. Because it’s fully what you already are, you cannot “do” anything to get there. Michael Jeffreys (Collective Evolution)
So I’ve been immersing myself in “BE-ing”…and not *doing* all the time (which was what I used to use as an excuse not to just BE because it felt scary and hard). It still feels a bit strange that standing in my power is just about BE-ing (and trusting and believing), but personally I think it’s no mistake that we call ourselves human BE-ings (^_-)
Anyway enough from me for now (^_^)
Love & light Anna x