I’ve always felt that authentic communication must come from the heart; one must communicate to others from one’s heart space and hopefully that message is received in their heart space.
I suppose the term *heart space* might sound some what wishy washy, but all it really means is that one’s communication must come with love, one must be one’s true self (free of all the crappy stuff we pad around ourselves in order to be liked or please others), be vulnerable without barriers and share one’s truth. It sounds SO simple yet many of us find this so very hard to do because of the vulnerability it entails.
The word *vulnerable* comes from the late latin *vulnerablis* meaning *injurious, wounding*. Naturally many of us will do anything (suppress emotions, ignore issues) to avoid feeling this way, stripped bare of all our protective barriers, our projected self image (stoical, totally chillaxed, too cool for school, unshakeable…sound familiar?) to stand there as our true selves (scared, fearful of rejection and judgement).
The ironic part of all of this is that it’s often those of us that appear the most confident, who may loudly and pointedly dismiss any heart-centred communication as being for the bleeding hearted, weak or *hippy types* who are the most fearful of laying ourselves bare. So, how can one bring someone like this back into their heart space? As a subscriber to the belief that *the only person one can change is oneself*, I believe that change always starts with oneself and looking to change others is but a distraction from this work.
So, I guess the real question is how can one bring oneself back to one’s heart space? The answer is by *letting go* of anything that doesn’t serve for one’s highest good …resentment, judgement, anger, comparison (jealousy), blame, hate. But what if one does this and gets hurt? A legitimate and very real concern of course and one which is best considered alongside this thought: Is it not better to be one’s real, true self regardless of what other’s do or say because to not do so means you are dishonouring your true essence (which is love)?
My personal mantra for situations where I can feel myself wanting to shift out of that heart space into protective mode is:
“Hold your true course, strong and steady…don’t let them change who you really are…be true to yourself….whatever happens your job is just to be the real you!”
I’ve found that by staying my course (treating others how I wish to be treated regardless) and remaining as unwavering as possible in communicating from my heart (despite judgement or rejection), others are more inclined to come baring their hearts and that’s when you get that magic true connection with another person, when they *see* you and you *see* them and for me that makes it worth it (^_^)
I also find *heart meditation* helpful (it’s particularly good for left brain tendency folk like me I feel) where one practices breathing through the heart: every inhale draws in beautiful white light in through the heart chakra and every exhale sends this white light back out through the heart and into the world (you can find numerous *opening the heart* or *heart chakra* guided meditations on youtube!)